The dating world is tough.
Nobody likes getting rejected, constantly meeting new people or bad dates that are downright boring or embarrassing. I know it sucks but you need to remember that this is a necessary yet temporary phase in finding that perfect boyfriend.
If you rush through this phase and settle down with the first decent guy that gives you attention, you’ll end up regretting it. You’re likely setting yourself up for a divorce, affair, or unhappy marriage in the future.
So how can you ensure that you’re going to find Mr Right the first time? While you’re still young enough to enjoy a full life together?
The answer is broken down into a short and simple list.
What's the Best Indication you Found YOUR Mr. Right?
Both your life goals align.You accept and adore each other for the way you are.Neither of you bicker and insult each other, instead you compliment one another.Somehow he brings out the best in you.You don't need him for anything, he just makes your life better.He's good-looking enough, you're satisfied.You're not falling in love with him just for the sake of falling in love.Other:
Perfect Boyfriend List: 5 Ways How to Find Mr Right
#1 – STOP LOOKING FOR THINGS THAT DON’T MATTER
I know you have a laundry list of standards and requirements that you want your perfect man to have. It includes things like stable job, good looking, taller than you but not too tall. You know that you’ll probably never find a guy that checks off all the things, but it’s good to know what you want – just in case.
NO!
The problem with having a checklist full of things that don’t matter is that it’s too tempting to settle down with a guy who is checking off most of the boxes. Even if most of those boxes are the WRONG ONES.
Let’s say you meet a guy and he’s checking off all your boxes: he’s super hot, good job, nice car, lives in a swanky apartment in the cool part of town and he likes the same weird band that you do. He’s checking off boxes like crazy! But then you realize he’s a work-a-holic, has a short temper and doesn’t seem like the type that wants to settle down.
Did you have “wants to settle down” on your list? Did you have “he has a healthy work life balance” on your list?
If you didn’t – then your list was setting you up to fail right from the get-go.
If your list is full of things that don’t matter in the long-run, you’ll find yourself in a relationship that doesn’t stand the test of time.
Now your list is totally up to you. If you absolutely NEED to have a guy with dark hair then you do you! I’m just saying it might serve you well to let those trivial things slide and replace them with things like the following…
#2 – YOU ACCEPT EACH OTHER THE WAY YOU ARE
We all have our quirks and flaws that could potentially drive a significant other crazy. I know that I am crazy anal about the home decor in the house. If a picture frame is the wrong colour or if some paperwork has piled up in the wrong place – this drives me nuts.
If I had a boyfriend that also needed to have the house look a certain way and wasn’t easy going about it – this would be a major personality clash. We’d likely be fighting about this all the time.
It works out for me to have a boyfriend that is totally fine with me decorating the house exactly how I want to. He doesn’t care so we’re not trying to change each other.
Same goes for accepting his personality. For example, my boyfriend loves playing video games. He will play them all day for hours and hours. This aspect of his personality totally and honestly does not bother me. I don’t mind that he spends his days doing that and I’m not going to tell him to “be more productive” or anything like that.
This is a personality trait that I think a lot of other women might not be as cool with, and that’s totally fine. You just have to find Mr Right that fits with you. Accept each other’s crazy and don’t try to change it.
#3 – YOU THINK HE’S ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH
When we’re out there dating, so much emphasis is put on how the other person looks. “Ooh let me see a picture” is the first thing your friends will say when you’re seeing a new guy. Tinder and other social media apps are also so focused on looks.
At the end of the day… looks fade. We all get older, we all get wrinkles, most of us gain a bit of weight etc.
Now chemistry and attractiveness are definitely important in a relationship. We do need that little bit of chemistry to excite us early on and to make it so that we don’t see the other person just as a friend. I’m just saying that this is NOT the most important thing in life and shouldn’t be the top thing on your list. If someone is attractive “enough” that’s all you really need to set yourself up for a lifetime of happiness, love and support.
#4 – HE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD
Your boyfriend should make you feel safe, supported and happy. He should be an endless source of all things that make you feel good. I know that when I’m around my boyfriend I feel like the smartest, funniest and most attractive woman on earth. Why? Because he tells me I’m pretty, he laughs at my jokes and he listens to my opinions.
Criticism, name-calling, guilt-tripping and other negative things shouldn’t be something that you experience with your boyfriend on a daily basis.
It is so easy to get caught up in accepting these negative qualities because someone is giving us other things that we think we need. This could be a place to live, money, security, a partner to go to weddings with etc. That’s why we stay with people who make us feel small, ignored or un-important. When you find Mr Right you should never be walking on eggshells or be scared to tell him something because he might yell. You should always feel safe.
The both of you should be each other’s support system. You are in this life together, anything that life brings on should be seen as something you take on as a team.
#5 – YOU SHARE THE SAME LIFE GOALS
This is the one thing on the list that might take a little bit longer to discover. Life goals are something that we don’t always know right away – and they change. They change a lot actually.
That’s why it’s important to keep checking in on each other to make sure you’re still going down the same path. This is how you avoid spending years and years with someone who turns out not to want the same things you want.
Keep an ear out for things that he’s talking about. Is he trying really hard to make partner at the law firm when you’re thinking of moving to the suburbs to start a family? Is he talking about how he hasn’t had a chance to travel much and you’re thinking about starting your own business?
You can find out many of the long-term life goals that a person has when you’re first dating and it’s great if those life goals line up. The key is to keep checking in throughout the years so that you don’t get too comfortable with the wrong guy.
Following the points on this list is going to help you find Mr Right and get you that much closer to a healthy long-term relationship. Good luck out there friends!
I know you have a laundry list of standards and requirements that you want your perfect man to have. It includes things like stable job, good looking, taller than you but not too tall. You know that you’ll probably never find a guy that checks off all the things, but it’s good to know what you want – just in case.
NO!
The problem with having a checklist full of things that don’t matter is that it’s too tempting to settle down with a guy who is checking off most of the boxes. Even if most of those boxes are the WRONG ONES.
Let’s say you meet a guy and he’s checking off all your boxes: he’s super hot, good job, nice car, lives in a swanky apartment in the cool part of town and he likes the same weird band that you do. He’s checking off boxes like crazy! But then you realize he’s a work-a-holic, has a short temper and doesn’t seem like the type that wants to settle down.
Did you have “wants to settle down” on your list? Did you have “he has a healthy work life balance” on your list?
If you didn’t – then your list was setting you up to fail right from the get-go.
If your list is full of things that don’t matter in the long-run, you’ll find yourself in a relationship that doesn’t stand the test of time.
Now your list is totally up to you. If you absolutely NEED to have a guy with dark hair then you do you! I’m just saying it might serve you well to let those trivial things slide and replace them with things like the following…
#2 – YOU ACCEPT EACH OTHER THE WAY YOU ARE
We all have our quirks and flaws that could potentially drive a significant other crazy. I know that I am crazy anal about the home decor in the house. If a picture frame is the wrong colour or if some paperwork has piled up in the wrong place – this drives me nuts.
If I had a boyfriend that also needed to have the house look a certain way and wasn’t easy going about it – this would be a major personality clash. We’d likely be fighting about this all the time.
It works out for me to have a boyfriend that is totally fine with me decorating the house exactly how I want to. He doesn’t care so we’re not trying to change each other.
Same goes for accepting his personality. For example, my boyfriend loves playing video games. He will play them all day for hours and hours. This aspect of his personality totally and honestly does not bother me. I don’t mind that he spends his days doing that and I’m not going to tell him to “be more productive” or anything like that.
This is a personality trait that I think a lot of other women might not be as cool with, and that’s totally fine. You just have to find Mr Right that fits with you. Accept each other’s crazy and don’t try to change it.
#3 – YOU THINK HE’S ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH
When we’re out there dating, so much emphasis is put on how the other person looks. “Ooh let me see a picture” is the first thing your friends will say when you’re seeing a new guy. Tinder and other social media apps are also so focused on looks.
At the end of the day… looks fade. We all get older, we all get wrinkles, most of us gain a bit of weight etc.
Now chemistry and attractiveness are definitely important in a relationship. We do need that little bit of chemistry to excite us early on and to make it so that we don’t see the other person just as a friend. I’m just saying that this is NOT the most important thing in life and shouldn’t be the top thing on your list. If someone is attractive “enough” that’s all you really need to set yourself up for a lifetime of happiness, love and support.
#4 – HE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD
Your boyfriend should make you feel safe, supported and happy. He should be an endless source of all things that make you feel good. I know that when I’m around my boyfriend I feel like the smartest, funniest and most attractive woman on earth. Why? Because he tells me I’m pretty, he laughs at my jokes and he listens to my opinions.
Criticism, name-calling, guilt-tripping and other negative things shouldn’t be something that you experience with your boyfriend on a daily basis.
It is so easy to get caught up in accepting these negative qualities because someone is giving us other things that we think we need. This could be a place to live, money, security, a partner to go to weddings with etc. That’s why we stay with people who make us feel small, ignored or un-important. When you find Mr Right you should never be walking on eggshells or be scared to tell him something because he might yell. You should always feel safe.
The both of you should be each other’s support system. You are in this life together, anything that life brings on should be seen as something you take on as a team.
#5 – YOU SHARE THE SAME LIFE GOALS
This is the one thing on the list that might take a little bit longer to discover. Life goals are something that we don’t always know right away – and they change. They change a lot actually.
That’s why it’s important to keep checking in on each other to make sure you’re still going down the same path. This is how you avoid spending years and years with someone who turns out not to want the same things you want.
Keep an ear out for things that he’s talking about. Is he trying really hard to make partner at the law firm when you’re thinking of moving to the suburbs to start a family? Is he talking about how he hasn’t had a chance to travel much and you’re thinking about starting your own business?
You can find out many of the long-term life goals that a person has when you’re first dating and it’s great if those life goals line up. The key is to keep checking in throughout the years so that you don’t get too comfortable with the wrong guy.
Following the points on this list is going to help you find Mr Right and get you that much closer to a healthy long-term relationship. Good luck out there friends!
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