TOP 8 HABITS THAT REALLY MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP STRONG

In our day-to-day lives, work, school, and other stressors can make it hard to maintain a strong relationship like when they first started. It can be a struggle to get a relationship back in the place that you want it to be. “Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.” 

“Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys.” Luckily, there are plenty of things that can help strengthen a relationship and keep the feeling of love steady and strong. It’s the little things that really help build up a relationship. Sure, you need the strong foundations to start off with, but the smaller things help build up a relationship and keep it strong.

1. CHECK UP ON EACH OTHER

When you both make it a habit to check in on one another, it can really help strengthen the feeling of love between you. Couples who call one another after a long day at work to see how they’re feeling, or send a text to make sure that they made it home okay after a long journey, will have a better connection and feel taken care of by one another. It’s such a small thing, but it can really make a world of difference.
2. LAUGHING TOGETHER

A couple who can share a sense of humor and laugh together will form all kinds of emotional bonds that can help keep the relationship running strong. Psychologist Doris Bazzini, Ph.D. says, “Laughter reminiscence packs an additional punch because people relive the moment by laughing again.” Whether you decide to sit down with a funny movie, or just an evening of watching funny YouTube videos, laughing together is important. Once a couple laughs together, their brains will be wired to associate each other with happiness and laughter.

3. SHARING IS CARING

Whether it’s just your feelings, or emotional and traumatic things from your past, learning to share with your partner can make your relationship that much stronger. Couples who feel as if they can tell one another anything will have a stronger relationship than couples who are afraid to be vulnerable with one another. Strength comes from being able to trust one another, and couples who can share will have a strong and lasting relationship.

4. GOOD LISTENING SKILLS

Everyone wants to feel heard when they talk, so having good listening skills is important in any relationship. Everyone should be able to listen openly when their partner speaks. Letting your partner know that you’re listening to their feelings, fears or concerns will help make it easier for them to trust you. With trust, comes strength in any relationship. Couples who are good at listening to one another will have a lasting, strong relationship.

5. HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

Being completely honest will help keep the relationship strong, even if it’s not something that your partner wants to hear. Couples who are able, to be honest about how they’re feeling, what they’re thinking and their opinions on certain topics are able to keep their relationship strong despite all of it. “What honesty gives you is a great deal of comfort. Knowing you can implicitly trust your mate allows you to be your best self, and your relationship will continue to thrive because you are able to give each other the positive energy you need to navigate life’s ups and downs,” says psychotherapist, syndicated columnist, and radio host Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. It’s important to be able to trust that your partner is going to be honest with you, no matter what.

6. GIVING IN TO IMPULSE

Being spontaneous helps make sure that the relationship doesn’t fall into a rut. If you want to get in the car and take a vacation one town over for the weekend, do it! If you want to make random plans, follow through! “Over time, it’s inevitable that life falls into a pattern of routine and “same old, same old.” It’s easy to fall into behaviors that are reliable, steady, and boring as well. So it’s important to change it up from time to time to alter our thinking, provide a new perspective, and create interest and excitement,” says psychiatrist Abigail Brenner M.D. Couples will have a strengthened relationship when they’re able to go with the flow and give in to their impulses.

7. TAKE MENTAL NOTES

Remembering the things that your partner likes and dislikes will mean that you’re paying close attention to your partner. Then, you’ll be able to show them that you’ve paid attention by giving them the things that they enjoy and avoiding the things they don’t. Couples who are able to focus on one another and take mental notes to remember the important things will always have a strong relationship together.

8. TEASING ONE ANOTHER

Nothing has to be serious all the time! Couples should be able to know when to give in and tease one another – especially if it means cheering one another up. Knowing when enough is enough is an important part of being able to tease one another. Couples with a strong relationship will know when to stop teasing – but the teasing itself will help keep the relationship strong.

Differences Between A Soulmate And A Life Partner

When we are covered by a wave of passion, every little thing else ceases to make good sense. We are completely in captivity of love experiences, euphoria and attraction to the item of enthusiasm. Throughout this duration, the person instinctively tries to demonstrate all the positive and also highests of his personality and also sees only the most effective in the companion and glorifies him.

A lot of women often miss the principles of a soulmate as well as a life partner. They obtain married believing that an individual is their life partner, yet eventually their relationship finish and also they recognize that it was just an individual for their experience and nothing more.

Why are some individuals certain that they have already satisfied their life companion? How can you identify a soulmate from a life companion? Just how can you discover the lesson and not duplicate it? A soulmate can come into your life as a buddy, a family member or a fan. He or she pleases your enthusiasm for knowledge. As quickly as this wish is completely satisfied, and also the lesson is learned, he or she usually leaves you, damaging your heart.

Unlike a soulmate, you life partner will certainly be always near, no matter what problems as well as troubles you experience on your way. Men extremely seldom combine both principles. So, it would certainly be better for you to decide what sort of companion you require in life in advance, also before marital relationship.

CHECK OUT OTHER DIFFERENCES BETWEEN A SOULMATE AND A LIFE COMPANION FEMALE OFTEN IGNORE:

1. Your soulmates can be not only your partner, but additionally our relative, your close friend, your neighbor or your college. Life companions are special people who provide you support and power in life.

2. Your connection with a life companion normally last longer than it can be with a soulmate. You have deeper and also extra intellectual connection with your life companion.

3. You can assume that you understand your soulmate for a very long time, but after all your relationship will certainly finish. You can really feel vacant as well as unhappy afterwards. Connection with a life companion is longer and steadier. It will make you really feel comfy.

4. Your connection with a soulmate is based extra on your emotions. Relationship with a life partner is more logical. Both of you make strategies or the future with each other's engagement.

5. You will experience a great deal of barriers in your partnership with a soulmate. It can be often very hard. On the other hand, your partnership with a life partner will certainly come to be stronger and stronger with time.

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Septuplets - 20 Years Ago

The World’s First Surviving Septuplets – 20 Years Later

Doctors were sure that this wonder wouldn’t happen: there were too many risks in a multiple pregnancy. But Bobbi McCaughey had septuplets, she gave birth to them and raised every single one of them despite all the negative predictions. The first septuplets in the world have grown up together and they turned 21 in November of 2018.

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The family was featured on the magazine covers of TIME and Newsweek.

Look at the Septuplets Whose Parents Didn’t Listen to Doctors 20 Years Ago and Decided to Have Them

Having twins, triplets, quadruplets and quintuplets seems like a scary and exciting proposition all at once. But imagine giving birth to septuplets! Yeah, seven children to raise. A couple might be shocked once they found out they were giving birth to seven babies at once. Just having twins or triplets can be a shock, but having seven can be a real miracle since all of these kinds of pregnancies are rare. Septuplets are extremely rare. This is the story of Bobbi and Kenny McCaughey.

 The McCaughey family hails from Des Moines, Iowa in the United States, which is a quite corn field laden midwest state. Their first miracle came with the birth of their first daughter, Mikayla Marie, who was born in 1996. This first birth was actually a miracle too because the couple experienced problems with fertility due to Bobbi’s failing pituitary gland at the time. This glad helps control the functions of the body by creating hormones and sending them to the bloodstream. Mikayla was born nonetheless and the couple really wanted a larger family so they decided to take part in fertility treatment. They had no idea how successful their little biological mission was going to be.

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Bobbi and Kenny McCaughey consider their first daughter Mikayla Marie just as much a miracle as the amazing septuplets they gave birth to later on.

Some interesting facts about twins, triplets and birth of multiples

Having the simultaneous birth of more than one baby is a biological feat of no small proportion. It happens when an egg divides to create multiple embryos (something that is believed to be completely random and is rare to happen at all) or when sperm happens to fertilize more eggs than just one in the womb area. When eggs split into multiple embryo, babies of the litter will share genetic materials, which is how you end up with identical twins and so forth. If more than a single egg is fertilized by the sperm, these babies won’t share all the same genetic material. This results in a fraternal birth as it is called. Chances of having muliples of some sort can be influenced by a variety of different factors. Its also kind of like winning the lottery for birth.

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Statistics

Data from the last approximately 30 years has shown that the statistical probability of having an identical pair of twins is about 3.5 for every 1,000 birth around the world. Those are some pretty slim odds, but only around 12-18 in 1,000 people are actually twins that were conceived naturally. In the United States alone, twins are born in about 35 out of 1,000 births. Fraternal births increased by around 77 percent thanks to fertility treatments. Fertility treatments may actually boost the chances of a couple having multiple births, just like Bobbi and Kenny McCaughey. Hereditary factors may also play a role in muliple births.

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Fertility treatment may boost the chances of multiple births to occur

The McCaughey family really were desperate to add members to their small family, so they opted for modern medicine to help solve the problem. The fertility medicine and treatments helped with ovulation necessary for anyone with a fertility problem to conceive children, including Bobbi. After Bobbi received the treatments, she began going for check ups and scans and eventually Bobbi was shown to be carrying children. She was pregnant! She was surprised but even more so to find out that she was carrying septuplets, 7 babies, in her womb. On occasion, more than one embryo is created so doctors expect that to possibly happen, but seven suprised everybody. Doctors sometimes seek to selectively reduce the embryos to increase survival chances of embryos but the family decided to leave it to God.

Seven Little Angels

It all took place on November 19, 1997. They were born nine weeks early. Doctors performed a cesarean section. All the babies were born healthy. They were each born within six minutes of each other. They weighed a range between 2 lbs, 5oz and 3 lbs, 4oz. The world’s first surviving septuplets captures America’s attention and their hearts. Everyone wondered their fate.

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The McCaughey’s septuplets are alive and well

All of the children made it through the tough delivery. They consisted of four boys and three girls. The McCaughey family must have had one hard time trying to get names for all their newly arrived children. But the names were ready at birth, and included Kenny Robert, Brandon James, Nathan Roy, Natalie Sue, Alexis May, Kelsey Ann, and Joel Steven in order of each ones birth.

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The couple had to go through 52 diapers and 42 baby bottles everyday

The McCaughey family reportedly received many donations from people wishing them well. They received diapers, a vehicle, even a house! There were other donations too.

News of their birth made the McCaughey family famous. They were adorned with a feature story in TIME Magazine. Even President Bill Clinton reached out to the family. The McCaughey’s even met President George Bush (Sr.) and also appeared on television for a taping of The Oprah Winfrey show in Chicago.

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It wasn’t all roses though. Even though these kids were born healthy, Alexis and Nathan did have difficulties with walking because they were born with a condition called cerebral palsy. This condition effects motor skills, coordination and movement of the body. Nathan did eventually teach himself to walk. Alexis walks using a walker’s help. These are the world’s first septuplets that survived through pregnancy and lived through infancy.

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Celebrating a Thirteenth Birthday

Life as Teens

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The family made sure the media could not interfere in the normal lives of their children and made sure distance was maintained. They were able to grow up with a normal existence, going to Carlisle High School in Carlisle in 2012. The kids were even part of the high school band, which made their parents proud.

High School Graduation

Each child felt like high school was mostly normal and all siblings graduated graduated in 2016. They had various goals and dreams for themselves.

McCaughey septuplets take a photo with the Principal of Carlisle High School in May 2016.

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The McCaughey Septuplets a Whole 20 Years Later

Now it has been 20 years since the McCaughey septuplets were born. They are still thriving and living life. Each have gone along different career paths, showing that each is still an individual. Alexis and Natalie still want to become teachers. Kenny is ambitious and interested in the construction industry. The computer geeks of the siblings are Joel and Nathan, who are both majoring in computer science. Brandon is a United States Army ranger. Kelsey is passionate about music and is seeking a career there. Mikayla, the firstborn, is married and has her own child.

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A Staggering Article About How Blind We Can Be to Other’s Feelings

Sometimes, we say words to other people that don’t mean much to us, just to avoid an awkward silence. Just to say something. And we have no idea how people will react to these words. Writer Nadirah Angail published a moving entry in her blog about how easy it is to hurt other people and not even notice it. She wants to make us more attentive and sensitive.

Somewhere there is a woman: 30, no children. People ask her, “Still no kids?” Her response varies from day to day, but it usually includes forced smiles and restraint. “Nope, not yet,” she says with a chuckle, muffling her frustration. “Well, don’t wait forever. That clock is ticking, ya know,” the sage says before departing, happy with herself for imparting such erudite wisdom. The sage leaves. The woman holds her smile. Alone, she cries...

Cries because she’s been pregnant 4 times and miscarried every one. Cries because she started trying for a baby on her wedding night, and that was 5 years ago. Cries because her husband has an ex-wife and she has given him children. Cries because she wants desperately to try in vitro but can’t even afford the deposit. Cries because she’s done in vitro (multiple rounds) and still has no children. Cries because her best friend wouldn’t be a surrogate. “It would be too weird,” she said. Cries because her medication prevents pregnancy.

Cries because her husband blames himself, and that guilt makes him a hard person to live with. Cries because all of her sisters have children. Cries because one of her sisters didn’t even want children. Cries because her best friend is pregnant. Cries because she got invited to another baby shower. Cries because her mother keeps asking, “Girl, what are you waiting for?” Cries because her in-laws want to be grandparents. Cries because her neighbor has twins and treats them terribly. Cries because 16-year-olds get pregnant without trying. Cries because she’s an amazing aunt. Cries because she’s already picked out names. Cries because there’s an empty room in her house. Cries because there is an empty space in her body. Cries because she has so much to offer. Cries because he’d be a great dad. Cries because she’d be a great mother, but isn’t.

Preview photo credit Rabbit Hole / Odd Lot Entertainment

Somewhere else there’s another woman: 34, 5 children. People say to her, “5? Good lord, I hope you’re done!” And then they laugh... because those types of comments are funny. The woman laughs too, but not in earnest. She changes the subject, as she always does, and gives the disrespect a pass. Just another day. Alone, she cries... Cries because she’s pregnant with another and feels like she has to hide the joy. Cries because she always wanted a big family and doesn’t see why people seem so disturbed by it. Cries because she has no siblings and felt profoundly lonely as a child. Cries because her Granny had 12 and she’d love to be just like her.

Cries because she couldn’t imagine life without her children, but people treat her like they’re a punishment. Cries because she doesn’t want to be pitied. Cries because she and her husband are perfectly capable of supporting their family, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Cries because they assume she’s just irresponsible. Cries because she’s tired of the “funny” comments. Cries because she minds her own business. Cries because sometimes she doubts herself and wonders if she should have stopped 2 kids ago. Cries because people are rude. Cries because all she wants to do is live in peace.

Another woman: 40, one child. People say to her, “Only one? You never wanted any more?” “I’m happy with my one,” she says calmly, a rehearsed response she’s given more times than she can count. It’s pretty believable. No one would ever suspect that alone, she cries... Cries because her one pregnancy was a miracle. Cries because her son still asks for a brother or sister. Cries because she always wanted at least 3. Cries because her second pregnancy had to be terminated to save her life. Cries because her doctor says it would be “high-risk.” Cries because she’s struggling to care for the one she has.

Cries because her husband died and she hasn’t found love again. Cries because her family thinks one is enough. Cries because she’s deep into her career and can’t step away. Cries because her postpartum depression was so intense. Cries because she had to have a hysterectomy. Cries because she wants another baby, but can’t have it.

These women are everywhere. They are our neighbors, our friends, our sisters, our co-workers, our cousins. They have no use for our advice or opinions. Their wombs are their own. Let’s respect that.

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She is known only as “Genie”

The Horrific Story of ‘Genie’: the Feral Child Who Suffered at the Hands of Her Sadistic Father

She is known only as “Genie” — an alias to protect what privacy she had — because since she was just a toddler her entire life had been suppressed by the terror she endured all alone in a single, dark room.

Her case was one of the most cruel instances of social isolation in American history. In 1997, Walter Cronkite narrated a PBS documentary informing the public about her heartbreaking story.

What you’ll read below highlights this account.

Genie was born in 1957, and only 20 months old when her father Clark Wiley who, thinking she was mentally retarded, locked her up in one of the family’s bedrooms. The room was located at the back of the house. The windows were covered with aluminum foil to keep the sunlight and nosy neighbors out, and the only furnishings consisted of a cage with a chicken-wire lid and a child’s potty chair.

For nearly 11 years, she suffered at the hands of her sadistic father, locked to that chair with a homemade strapping device and hit with a “one-by-three-foot board” each time she made a noise. She was a feral child.

Under her paranoid father’s vicious rule, he also kept a gun in his lap at all times as a means of intimidation.

It wasn’t until Genie was 13-years-old that her abuse was discovered. On November 4, 1970, her mother, who was nearly blind, sought public assistance in Temple City, California, after leaving her husband. When a social worker met with the family, Genie’s appearance and condition gave away the sinister secrets. She wore diapers, couldn’t speak (she had the language and motor skills of a baby) and crawled along the floor like an animal. The social worker believed Genie was only six-years-old and autistic, but when her real age was discovered, she immediately contacted her supervisor, who subsequently alerted the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.

When the family’s home, which was described by Genie’s brother as a “concentration camp,” was searched, what they found was shocking. Aside from just finding the room where Genie had been kept her entire life, the home was completely dark and all the blinds were drawn.

Upon investigation, law enforcement officials established that Genie had the physical development of an eight-year-old, and weighed only 59 pounds.

Jay Shurley, an expert in solitary confinement, described Genie’s case as the most distressing he had ever seen. “Solitary confinement is, diabolically, the most severe punishment, and in my experience, really quite dramatic symptoms develop in as little as fifteen minutes to an hour, and certainly inside of two or three days. And try to expand this to ten years boggles one’s mind,” he said.

Both of Genie’s parents were arrested and charged with child abuse, but just before her father was scheduled to appear before a judge, he shot and killed himself. Allegedly, the suicide note he left behind read, “the world will never understand.” He was buried with countless secrets about the horrors he committed in that household — never getting to tell his version of what really happened.

Her mother’s criminal case was eventually dropped after evidence established that she had been trying to escape her abusive husband, but was not given custody of her feral child. She was sent off to be cared for by a team of therapists and doctors.

“When we think about a genie, we think about a creature who emerges out of a bottle, or whatever, into society past childhood,” said Susan Curtiss, a linguistics graduate student from UCLA. She is the person who gave her the name “Genie.”

In the early 1970’s, she was used as a case study — “Developmental Consequence of Extreme Social Isolation” — under the supervision of Dr. David Rigler. She celebrated her fourteenth birthday at the children’s hospital in Los Angeles, and eventually she learned how to read and use sign language.

But despite a series of breakthroughs, there were also major setbacks.

The government agency funding all the research believed the project being conducted was a failure, and in the fall of 1974, the money stopped pouring in.

Although researchers had the best of intentions, she was inevitably exploited and abused by a series of caregivers and foster parents. After being sent to live at a foster care home for special needs children, and one that was extremely religious, she retreated.

In 1977, she was able to communicate at a children’s hospital that her foster parents had physically punished her for vomiting. Since that moment, Genie’s speech never recovered. Once turning 18, the worst thing of all happened: she moved back in with her mother into her childhood home of horrors. Of course, that situation didn’t work out, either, and she was eventually returned to the system.

Nobody knows what really happened to that little girl who spent nearly eleven years locked up in a dark room all alone.

Her last known whereabouts was a private institution in Southern California for the mentally undeveloped, but that location remains unknown.

Curtiss said she spent 20 years searching for Genie without ever getting any leads.

Top 6 Strange Things That Lead To A Happy Marriage, Says Science

 

 What are the secret ingredients to a happy marriage?

When we look at couples happily in love, it's obvious — and not just from the selfies they're posting on Instagram. They're supportive, communicate well, make each other laugh... the list goes on.

But what about all of the bizarre details that affect the quality marriage? According to science, there are tons of random things that can lead to a happy marriage. Does your relationship stand a chance? Here are six things you definitely didn't know about marriages that last.

1. Having a big wedding

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The National Marriage Project from The University of Virginia conducted a survey involving American married couples to find correlations between happy marriages and the couple's past. One thing that came up was the type of weddings they held.


After using a sample of 418 couples, there was a correlation between formal weddings and greater conjugal happiness along with higher marital quality. But before you go all bridezilla and hire Coldplay as your wedding band, "bigger weddings" in this study were determined just by the number of guests, not by how extravagant they were.

2. Having high bone mineral density

In a study of 632 adults, a correlation between better bone health and marriage quality was found. Guys who never said "I do," were separated, divorced, or widowed had significantly lower bone mass density.

The researchers only found a correlation between these two factors, so we don't know what caused this. Until we do, you may want to include milk on date nights.
3. Having an attractive wife

Should we be surprised? A study led by psychologist Andrea Meltzer followed 450 newlywed couples over four years. They were then asked whether an attractive spouse leads to satisfaction in marriage. Men said yes, but the ladies said no. That's kind of depressing.

4. Having an unattractive husband

As for the husband's looks? A study found that ladies are better off marrying down. Researchers believe it's because the more unattractive husband would treat the more attractive wife better since men value beauty highly. This might be even more depressing, actually

5. Doing hobbies separately

How important are common interests? Once you get married you might feel the need to do everything together, but if one person in the relationship actually doesn't appreciate the hobby then it's better to go solo.

According to a study published in Journal of Marriage and Family, couples who separate to do hobbies have greater marriage satisfaction.
6. Putting off having kids

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When you ask parents how children affected their marriage, they say their bond was strengthened. But one study found that young, childless couples are the have the happiest relationships. This isn't very surprising when you consider how much work it takes to parent.

7 Ways to Stop Your Child From Acting Disrespectfully

Kids of this generation are too stubborn to handle and that they’re rather angry. However, when you claim that you were different at this age, ask yourself whether your parents were the same as you are with your kids. It’s not such a difficult task, after all, to discipline your kids, as they look up to you more than anyone else.

1. Stay calm and don’t overreact.

In the hustle and bustle of an already stressful life, you may find yourself losing your cool when your kids behave rudely. However, it’s not wise to pour out your frustration on the kids just because you have control over them. The kid is obviously angry or upset which is why they’re misbehaving. But what are you going to show by displaying your anger? Perhaps diminishing the difference between yourself and your kids.

Take a step back and count to 10, and instead of overreacting or yelling, talk to the kid. Leave the room if need be and this should calm both of you down.


2. Put yourself in their shoes.

There’s definitely a reason why your child is hyper and misbehaving. With small kids, it can be petty reasons like tiredness or hunger. With children who are a little older, it can be stress or peer pressure. Yes, it is a proven fact that kids go through stress too!

That’s why it’s important to sit down and try to understand the reason why your child is misbehaving. The way they’re reacting to things is rooted in what’s going on in their mind.

3. Discuss your expectations with them.

When your kids are displaying anger, showing love or cuddling them is the last thing on your mind. But what if that’s the very thing the child needs at that moment? Sometimes it’s important to sit down and have a discussion with your children about why their behavior is wrong.

Children are not mature enough to distinguish between what’s right and wrong. At times, they might think of a certain kind of behavior as natural and normal. Thus, it is the responsibility of the parents to discuss what they expect out of their kids. Give them an explanation as to why it’s wrong — don’t just show a yes or no sign.

4. Set limits and warn them about consequences.

Very often, the reason kids disobey is that they don’t know their limits — they don’t know where to stop. Don’t pamper your kid so much that they stop distinguishing between right and wrong behavior. Put some rules into play and make sure that you adhere to them as well.

Also, it’s important not only to reward them for good work done but also to make them aware of the consequences of bad behavior. It’s very important that you follow through on these consequences.

5. Inculcate good manners.

Punishment doesn’t always work, especially when it’s in a physical form. Forget about spanking them and start focusing on how to make them understand the importance of behaving well. Point out when they falter for the very first time. Good manners aren’t all about making our kids sit down and dictate a lecture back to us. Good manners are teaching them how to behave during occasions appropriately.

Teach them about family bonding, tell them stories about great people, and most importantly, acknowledge whenever they display good behavior. You may also give them small responsibilities that give them the courage to believe in themselves.

6. Demand respect.

It’s always said that you cannot compel a person to respect you as it’s a feeling that comes naturally. However, with children, the case is different. You shouldn’t always go around saying, “I am your parent, so you ought to respect me.” They won’t. At the same time, it is also important that they understand your position as a parent and stay within their limits.

When doing this, be firm yet polite in your approach while setting the rules. If a rule is broken, a punishment will be given and a reward for good deeds should be the same way. By following what you have said consistently, you will gain your children’s trust and they’ll see you as a genuine person.

7. Be a role model to them.

Last but not least, practice what you preach. Remember, your kids are always watching you. So if you want them to put down the tablet, get rid of yours first. If you want them to be more interactive rather than glued to the TV screen, take time out to be there for them yourself.

Be polite, have patience, and watch your kids do the same. Show them the kind of behavior that you want to see in them and be their role model. Subconsciously, they’ll always want to be like you.

Tell me what you think

In the comments below let me know what you think about on the list. Do you like them, do you hate them? Or even better, are there any other you believe would do a much better job?

Why Married Women Should Not Have Male Friends

GO DEEPER

Stop accepting lackluster faith as normal. Press in with this new devotional and step out of a mediocre Christian experience.

I WANT TO BE TRANSFORMED

On a mission-field-bound plane, we started talking.

We shared a lot in common: age, love for Jesus, and an adventurous spirit.

Perfect fit, right?

But among our similarities, included marriage…and kids.

Despite my efforts to push it down this inappropriate attraction, I could feel it blooming. And it didn’t help that he was cute: surfer-boy-with-dreadlocks cute with an ounce of bad-boy-gone good.

Since this wasn’t the first time I had a male friend while married, I knew that “keeping it completely platonic” was a joke.

Marriage is Serious Business, Friendships Come Second

Marriage is a serious commitment. We have to treat it with respect.

Many women believe they can continue with their male friendships after marriage, but I want to ask:


Why would you risk your marriage for the sake of someone you aren’t married to?

Every woman also wants to believe they are the exception to the rule, but I want to challenge women to rethink male friendships for the longevity and integrity of your marriage vows.

10 Reasons Married Women Should Not Have Male Friends
1. You don’t know where their heart is

My husband once said to me, “There are no such things as male friends. There are only men waiting for you to like them.”

I don’t know if this is true, but it begs the question: “Do you really know if your male friend isn’t attracted to you?” I created “The Male Friendship Test” for married women in order to determine if a man really is friendship material. (Hint: the answer is almost always “no.”)

No matter what your male friend says, you can never be certain he doesn’t have feelings for you. And this fact is the best reason married women should not have male friends.

2. You don’t know what they are dealing with

When you meet someone new, it’s so much fun to discover new things about them. The downside of the discovery phase is that you haven’t learned all the nitty-gritty.

You might know their favorite TV show, but not know they had a horrible fight about money with their wife the night before. Or a layoff might be making him feel like “less of a man” and your smiling face makes him feel valuable.

These unknown factors can create uneven roads that could lead to sticky situations.
 

3. Friendships come and go, but marriage is for life

A male friendship, even one that has been going on longer than you’ve known your spouse, can often dissolve without too much drama. Busyness causes us to drift apart, a new job might shift our schedules or a new baby squeeze out socializing.

Marriage on the other hand, is supposed to be for life. When busyness takes over, you still sleep in the same bed. If you or your husband gets an out-of-state job, you both move. When you have a new baby, you both join forces to take care of this new life. Everything is done in tandem.

Don’t choose a male friendship that might one day end (even if you swear it won’t) over something that is forever.
 

4. Men don’t think the same as women

I don’t care what is PC.

Men are visual creatures. And women are fun to look at. Men’s brains are wired differently and even the slightest brush of his elbow when you are laughing could send him the wrong signal.

Women oftentimes forget our touchy-feely nature might lead the relationship in a direction we never intended it to go.
 

5. Your husband should fulfill your need for male attention

When I first encountered a male friendship, it was at a job where I had to work side-by-side with Mr. Cute-Ambitious-Creative-Sexy-Nice Guy.

Quickly, I realized that my attraction to him meant my marriage needed a pick-me-up. I needed some fun with my hubby. Though our marriage wasn’t bad, a new baby had pushed us into the “roommates with benefits” zone.

If your finding your male friendship is more exciting than your marriage, redirect your attention to fixing it.
 

6. We have a sin nature

The grass is always greener on the other side.
We always want what we can’t have.

These are two common proverbs, both of them pointing back to the oldest story in history: Adam and Eve. “Don’t touch the tree of Good & Evil,” God said…and what did she do; she went and touched it!

It’s important to note at the time of this story, Eve didn’t have a sinful nature. How much more will we, having a sin nature, be tempted to do things just because we know we aren’t supposed to do them? We know that a sexual relationship with a male friend is forbidden…and it makes it all the more desirable.
 

7. The stats

Divorce is an ugly word. When it’s coupled with the word ‘adultery’ it’s even nastier.

Too many marriages have already proven that male-female relationships with someone other than your spouse is risky business.

If you don’t want to become part of those statistics…avoid male friendships!
 

8. The other woman and man

Even if a male friend isn’t married, it’s likely he will be in a relationship one day.

We need to think of the needs of his current/future spouse above our own wants and needs. If you are friends with a man that’s married, you could potentially damage a chance for him to have a healthy relationship with his wife.

On the flip side, what about your own husband. Even if he says he’s cool with you having close male friends, in reality it makes him uncomfortable.
 

9. Opinions of others

I’m not an advocate for worrying about what others think, but we should consider our reputation among our community. Our good name is better than anything…even an amazing friendship with another man that isn’t your husband!

The Bible reiterates this:


A good name is more desirable than great riches. Proverbs 22:1a

A male relationship may lead others to think there is more going on than meets the eye.
 

10. You have somewhere better to spend your time

The Bible says that married women are supposed to teach other younger married women to:

love their children
love their husbands

If you spend your time with another man, you are wasting time that could be better spent doing the job God has called you to accomplish.

There is no Bible verse that suggests women have any business attending to any man other than her husband.
 

Do You Want to Stay Married Forever?

When we stand, in our wedding dress, saying our “I do’s” I am certain we intended to stay married for as long as possible.

I think male friendships jeopardize this goal.

And no friendship, male or female, is worth that risk.

I wish I could say that I was careful to keep an appropriate distance on the mission trip with Mr. Surfer-Boy, but having so much in common made the trip more enjoyable. After it was over, I got my emotions back in check, confessed to my husband, and I made sure not to pursue the relationship at all. Not perfectly, because I’m pretty sure I Facebook stalked him a few times before I made the decision to delete all my Facebook friends, including him.

I want to be married forever. I have to make the decision to choose my husband over and over. Getting married doesn’t mean you automatically stop being attracted to other people, it means you avoid it like the plague. Since then, I’ve put in motion certain measure to make sure I don’t find myself in this situation again.

What about you?

Do you think married women should have male friends?

Do you have a story of a male friendship gone wrong? Or some tips on how to get out of a male relationship you are already in?

Perfect Boyfriend List: 5 [Must-See Tips] How to Find Mr Right

When you’re single and out there in the dating world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “I need to find Mr Right right away!” But this could be leading you down the wrong path, a path you’re likely to regret in the future.

The dating world is tough.

Nobody likes getting rejected, constantly meeting new people or bad dates that are downright boring or embarrassing. I know it sucks but you need to remember that this is a necessary yet temporary phase in finding that perfect boyfriend.

If you rush through this phase and settle down with the first decent guy that gives you attention, you’ll end up regretting it. You’re likely setting yourself up for a divorce, affair, or unhappy marriage in the future.

So how can you ensure that you’re going to find Mr Right the first time? While you’re still young enough to enjoy a full life together?

The answer is broken down into a short and simple list.

What's the Best Indication you Found YOUR Mr. Right?

Both your life goals align.You accept and adore each other for the way you are.Neither of you bicker and insult each other, instead you compliment one another.Somehow he brings out the best in you.You don't need him for anything, he just makes your life better.He's good-looking enough, you're satisfied.You're not falling in love with him just for the sake of falling in love.Other:

Perfect Boyfriend List: 5 Ways How to Find Mr Right

#1 – STOP LOOKING FOR THINGS THAT DON’T MATTER

I know you have a laundry list of standards and requirements that you want your perfect man to have. It includes things like stable job, good looking, taller than you but not too tall. You know that you’ll probably never find a guy that checks off all the things, but it’s good to know what you want – just in case.

NO!

The problem with having a checklist full of things that don’t matter is that it’s too tempting to settle down with a guy who is checking off most of the boxes. Even if most of those boxes are the WRONG ONES.

Let’s say you meet a guy and he’s checking off all your boxes: he’s super hot, good job, nice car, lives in a swanky apartment in the cool part of town and he likes the same weird band that you do. He’s checking off boxes like crazy! But then you realize he’s a work-a-holic, has a short temper and doesn’t seem like the type that wants to settle down.

Did you have “wants to settle down” on your list? Did you have “he has a healthy work life balance” on your list?

If you didn’t – then your list was setting you up to fail right from the get-go.

If your list is full of things that don’t matter in the long-run, you’ll find yourself in a relationship that doesn’t stand the test of time.

Now your list is totally up to you. If you absolutely NEED to have a guy with dark hair then you do you! I’m just saying it might serve you well to let those trivial things slide and replace them with things like the following…

#2 – YOU ACCEPT EACH OTHER THE WAY YOU ARE

We all have our quirks and flaws that could potentially drive a significant other crazy. I know that I am crazy anal about the home decor in the house. If a picture frame is the wrong colour or if some paperwork has piled up in the wrong place – this drives me nuts.

If I had a boyfriend that also needed to have the house look a certain way and wasn’t easy going about it – this would be a major personality clash. We’d likely be fighting about this all the time.

It works out for me to have a boyfriend that is totally fine with me decorating the house exactly how I want to. He doesn’t care so we’re not trying to change each other.

Same goes for accepting his personality. For example, my boyfriend loves playing video games. He will play them all day for hours and hours. This aspect of his personality totally and honestly does not bother me. I don’t mind that he spends his days doing that and I’m not going to tell him to “be more productive” or anything like that.

This is a personality trait that I think a lot of other women might not be as cool with, and that’s totally fine. You just have to find Mr Right that fits with you. Accept each other’s crazy and don’t try to change it.

#3 – YOU THINK HE’S ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH

When we’re out there dating, so much emphasis is put on how the other person looks. “Ooh let me see a picture” is the first thing your friends will say when you’re seeing a new guy. Tinder and other social media apps are also so focused on looks.

At the end of the day… looks fade. We all get older, we all get wrinkles, most of us gain a bit of weight etc.

Now chemistry and attractiveness are definitely important in a relationship. We do need that little bit of chemistry to excite us early on and to make it so that we don’t see the other person just as a friend. I’m just saying that this is NOT the most important thing in life and shouldn’t be the top thing on your list. If someone is attractive “enough” that’s all you really need to set yourself up for a lifetime of happiness, love and support.

#4 – HE MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD

Your boyfriend should make you feel safe, supported and happy. He should be an endless source of all things that make you feel good. I know that when I’m around my boyfriend I feel like the smartest, funniest and most attractive woman on earth. Why? Because he tells me I’m pretty, he laughs at my jokes and he listens to my opinions.

Criticism, name-calling, guilt-tripping and other negative things shouldn’t be something that you experience with your boyfriend on a daily basis.

It is so easy to get caught up in accepting these negative qualities because someone is giving us other things that we think we need. This could be a place to live, money, security, a partner to go to weddings with etc. That’s why we stay with people who make us feel small, ignored or un-important. When you find Mr Right you should never be walking on eggshells or be scared to tell him something because he might yell. You should always feel safe.

The both of you should be each other’s support system. You are in this life together, anything that life brings on should be seen as something you take on as a team.

#5 – YOU SHARE THE SAME LIFE GOALS

This is the one thing on the list that might take a little bit longer to discover. Life goals are something that we don’t always know right away – and they change. They change a lot actually.

That’s why it’s important to keep checking in on each other to make sure you’re still going down the same path. This is how you avoid spending years and years with someone who turns out not to want the same things you want.

Keep an ear out for things that he’s talking about. Is he trying really hard to make partner at the law firm when you’re thinking of moving to the suburbs to start a family? Is he talking about how he hasn’t had a chance to travel much and you’re thinking about starting your own business?

You can find out many of the long-term life goals that a person has when you’re first dating and it’s great if those life goals line up. The key is to keep checking in throughout the years so that you don’t get too comfortable with the wrong guy.

Following the points on this list is going to help you find Mr Right and get you that much closer to a healthy long-term relationship. Good luck out there friends!

Top 10 Ways Men Destroy Their Marriage

Neglected Wife Symptoms—Ways Husbands Destroy Their Marriages

It is important to remember that the main goal of marriage should be peace and happiness. So, while this list below may seen daunting, always remember that. If life is stressful, then work on changing your perception. You can see peace instead of stress. You are only one thought away from a peaceful life. If you feel unhappy, seek the things that will fulfill you in life. Just be happy. The simplest route to something is to just be. The only person you can change is yourself.

Also, while both the husband and wife should take responsibility for their part in a marriage, below are ten mistakes common to men. Read on to learn about the behaviors of men which can completely destroy a marriage.

Leaving Her Alone

One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. This means things like spending long hours at work and following it up by a beer or several afterward with the guys. Then, when you get home, you don't engage her or your children. Instead, you lose yourself in baseball or computer poker. Also, on the weekends, you'll complain about the messy house, then leave to run errands, and then you don't come back for several hours.

One of the most most miserable experiences for a wife is that feeling of isolation when her husband emotionally leaves the relationship. Yes, she has friends and a job. Yes, she spends a lot of time running the kids around and partaking in activities outside of her husband. It's not the same. Her desire is to spend time with you, the man she loves. To be left alone by her husband causes deep heartache for women. For most women, their largest fears boil down to isolation and deprivation. When she feels abandoned by you, she attacks with hurtful and disrespectful behavior. Her ability to verbally hurt you is her strongest weapon, and she uses it out of fear in an effort to try to get your attention.

When a wife begins to nag because you never spend time at home, never hang out with her, and never engage with the kids, chances are she is feeling abandoned and isolated. When you stop spending time together, the emotional distance between you two grows quickly.

Leaving your wife alone or not paying enough attention to her could create more distance than you realize.

Not Getting Close Enough

Your wife feels energized when she feels close to you. Refusing to let her know you is destructive to her and your marriage. While you strive to keep your independence, she longs to connect with you. It is not fair to either of you if you are only affectionate and attentive on the days you want sex or something from her. Affection and closeness ought to be an end in themselves, not a means to a different end.

Talking is not the only way women feel close, although it is an important one. Simple ways to fulfill your wife in this area are to hug her often, hold her hand, and to spend some time alone with her. When her need for closeness is met, she will be more inclined to respect your need for independence. When your wife feels close to you, she will also be more willing to engage with you on a more intimate, sexual level.

The important thing to remember is to help her feel connected. Try talking to her about your day, your fears, hopes, and dreams. Hold her hand when you go out together. Kiss her unexpectedly in the kitchen while she makes dinner. Sit next to her. Ask her how she is doing, and for a few minutes, give her your undivided attention while she answers. A little bit will go a long way and mean everything to her and, in turn, your marriage.

Closing Yourself Off to Her

Women exist as an integrated circuit. The mind, body, and soul are closely linked — so, hurt feelings affect the entire system. A wife whose spirit is crushed may suffer from fatigue and confusion. Like a strand of Christmas lights — when one light goes out, they all go dark. Men compartmentalize. If one light goes out on his strand, all the other lights function properly, unaffected. Men are able to fully function when one area of their lives is not working properly.

Your wife does not understand the closed-off and mysterious way you operate. Things don't seem to bother you. You never want to talk to her. She knows you are stressed about work, yet you don't show it or express that further to her. She wonders how you can even function. Your wife is not trying to pry or sneak her way into no-man's land. She simply wants you to be open. She wants to truly see you. She feels loved when you share your fears, worries, and troubles. She wants to be that person for you and committed to being so when you got married. She won't try to fix you. She will listen.

Try talking to her about what is going on in your life. Women like to vent, without seeking a solution, and she wants to give you the freedom to share yourself verbally.

Always Trying to "Fix" Her

Even when she doesn't always say it, your wife sees you as her strength. As the bearer of her burdens. When she comes to you for help to lighten the load from the weight of her world, it is a compliment. She knows you can handle it.

Rather than trying to resolve and repair every issue, however, try to just listen to her. You might even ask if she needs a solution or just an ear. It will be a relief for both of you when you realize that sometimes you don't have to fix all the problems. Furthermore, when you listen, she will feel like you understand her (even if you don't, which is okay).

Never Saying "I'm Sorry."

All marriages have conflict. The refusal to apologize is a quick way to destroy yours. While conflict is not a pleasant thing, growth and closeness can increase as conflict is resolved. For your wife, an apology means she has moved forward through the conflict, and she is now seeking peace.

Many husbands see apologizing as a sure sign of weakness. They think, "If I apologize, she won't respect me." On the contrary, if you humbly apologize and ask her forgiveness, your wife will be putty in your hands. Your small act of contrition soothes her spirit, and acts as a healing balm over her heart. Furthermore, it shows that you're open and willing to make things work, that you care enough to admit to your faults and move past and through them.

Taking Her Insecurities Too Lightly

Your wife knows she is highly committed to you. When she sees you looking at other women, in the mall, on TV, on the computer, and in other places, she fears that you may be unfaithful and at the very least, it may make her uncomfortable and question your attraction to them, especially if she is solely just looking at you. Regardless, she is insecure and needs your reassurance, not any belittling, joking, or teasing. These activities all devalues her feelings, which are real. When you stare at a cute young thing as she saunters by, it may be a reminder to your wife of her many imperfections. She feels insecure because she wants to know that you still love her and you looking at other women may not be so reassuring of that. It's okay for you to look at other women, in fact, it's perfectly natural. The danger is when you are blatant and aggressive, disregarding your wife's feelings and staring in spite of her discomfort.

Your wife is motivated by your love and loyalty. She has committed her life to you, and wants to feel secure in the fact that you are equally committed to her. A big symbol of your loyalty to your wife is a wedding ring. For a woman, this is a sign of your fidelity. A married man without a ring seems to be trying to hide something. This requires very little effort, if any, on your part to reassure your wife in this way, and yet it would mean the world to her. Her peace of mind ought to be worth the cost of an inexpensive, outward expression of your fidelity. You have nothing to hide. A ring is a simple, outward expression of your devotion to your wife and to your marriage. This small gesture can have deep impact.

When your wife feels insecure, she may ask if you still think she is pretty. She may ask if you love her. She may ask if you think someone else is more attractive. This is not a trap. She feels she is moving toward you, by asking a question and starting a conversation. Talking is how women feel close. She is seeking your assurance of love and loyalty. Rather than make light of the moment, look at her. No, really look at her. Tell her she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. Give her the assurance she seeks, and ease her troubled mind.

Ignoring the Importance of Simple Gestures

Your wife does not require fancy jewelry or expensive meals. Granted, those things are nice, and you like to treat your wife. However, it isn't always necessary.

She feels most loved by the small tokens of your love and appreciation. When you neglect the small things, it may feel to her like you are trying to buy her affection — or ease your own guilt — with the big things. Let your wife know that she is on your mind during the day. A single rose when you walk in the door speaks volumes to her language of love. Give her a call or send her a text during the day to let her know you are thinking of her. Offer to help with dinner, or wash the dishes. These are small gifts of your time that mean the world to your wife.

For your wife, the most important days of the year are her birthday and the day she married you. Celebrate these days by spending time with just her. It will mean more than any expensive gift ever could. The cost of the gift is secondary to the thought you put into it. She wants to feel special and important to you. The way to help her feel loved is to spend time with her alone. Even if you sit home and watch a movie, give her your undivided attention.

A simple gesture like a nice cake on your wife's birthday (or any day, if she's a fan of sweets) can do more than you realize.

7. Taking All the Fun Out of Sex

When you confuse sex with intimacy, it's no fun. When you only focus on your own orgasm, it's no fun. When you only show interest in your wife when you want to get lucky, it's no fun. When you devalue the depth of your sexual relationship with crude jokes and pornography, it's no fun. When you expect her to get excited instantly, it's no fun. When you neglect your wife's sexual needs, it's no fun.

When you are married, sex is supposed to be fun.

An intimate sharing, designed to bring you closer, sex should cement the bond between you. For example, think of your wife as a crockpot. Meanwhile, in this comparison, you are a microwave. Put a meal in a microwave, and you are eating within three minutes. A crockpot meal takes a lot of forethought. You need the proper ingredients. You have to put everything together, turn it on, and wait. Six or eight hours later, you enjoy a delicious meal. Your wife needs the same thoughtful consideration. Start in the morning with a kiss. Tell her she's beautiful. Women never get tired of hearing that from the man they love. Help get the kids ready for school. After work, ask about her day.

Slow, slow, slow. If you want to bring the fun back into sex, think crockpot, not microwave. You can microwave in the shower (not literally, obviously).

Getting Lost in Bitterness and Anger

When you shut your wife out to brood in your despair, it fills her with fear. Women like to talk things out. Men like to shut things out. When you feel stressed about work, about money, about your relationship, you turn inward. This provokes your wife's fear of abandonment and rejection.

She thinks you don't love her when you refuse to speak. This fear, and her desire to resolve conflict, cause your wife to pursue you. She wants to talk it out, not to belittle or demean you, but to feel closer. She wants you to trust her, so she can trust you. She follows you around, asking if everything is alright. You run away from her and avoid wanting to discuss what is bothering you. She knows something is wrong, and she begins to assume that she is the problem.

You can stop this train wreck before it happens by opening up to your wife. She loves you. You can trust her. Share your real feelings with her, and she will open her heart to you.

Not Taking Responsibility

Whether it's an addiction, an affair or poor performance in your life, many times, husbands point to their wives as the reason for their weakness. "She makes me drink because of her nagging. I cheated because she wouldn't take care of me. I'm doing poorly because she never encourages me."

It's time to take full responsibility for your own behavior. You need to take ownership of your actions. You choose to drink. You choose to cheat. You choose to work or not work. You actively do all these things on your own. Rather than blaming someone or something else, stand up and take control. Make your life reflect the values you desire. Your life is completely under your control. Today, you can choose differently. You can create exactly the life you want. Furthermore, if your wife really is the root of all the problems in your life, then take control of that as well and man up and tell her the truth. She can't change if you aren't willing to express the problem.

If you have an addiction or problem, don't always blame your wife.

Picking the Wrong Woman. Again.

A woman in distress, who just moves from crisis to crisis, will continue to be in distress after you marry her. A nitpicking woman who criticizes your every decision will continue to nitpick. A control freak always wants control, even after the wedding. The bottom line is: if she is the wrong woman before the marriage, she'll be the wrong woman when and after you get married.

If you want a nice wife, then date a nice woman and marry her. Treat her with love and respect and she will return the kindness. Trying to rescue a woman in distress will only lead you to feel used and unappreciated. A strong marriage begins with a good-willed woman and a good-willed man. It flourishes as you both grow in love and respect toward each other.

Choosing the wrong woman sets you up for failure every time. Although you might like the feeling of being a knight in shining armor rescuing a damsel in distress, the reality of being married is much harder and much less idealistic. Marriage takes work, from both the husband and the wife. When both are committed to making the marriage a good experience, then it has a better chance of succeeding.

Work on Yourself

While this list may seem daunting, it is important to remember that the main goal of marriage should be peace and happiness. If life is stressful, work on changing your perception. You can see peace instead of stress. You are only one thought away from a peaceful life. If you feel unhappy, seek those thing that will fulfill you in life. Just be happy. The simplest route to something is to just be. The only person you can change is yourself.

Tell me what you think

In the comments below let me know what you think about on the list. Do you like them, do you hate them? Or even better, are there any other you believe would do a much better job?

Show your support 

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TopTricks To Keep Your Partner Infatuated With You When You’ve Been Together Forever

Sparking the interest of a stranger is rarely difficult. A quick smile and some friendly banter is usually all it takes. But when you're playing the long game at attraction, you may need a few more strategies. For more long-term relationships, knowing the tricks to keep your partner infatuated with you can help invigorate your connection.

Pinterest

OK, so maybe the word trick is a bit negative. These are really just ideas to keep the spark going in your relationship after that initial rush of attraction has faded. There's always something new and exciting for you and your partner to share, so your time together is still sparkling and flirtatious.

That said, it's perfectly normal for attraction to ebb and flow in the course of a relationship. It's reality for most couples, and not generally a cause for concern. Moreover, there's no need to put undue pressure on yourself to act like an intriguing minx at all times. You're a human who's susceptible to head colds, work stresses, and other off days, after all.

But when you do want to turn the heat up again, keep these tricks (er, ideas) up your sleeve. Some are sweet. Some are more saucy. But on the whole, these ideas can remind you and your SO of why you fell in love in the first place.

1Get Adventurous

Want to get your heart rate up? According to the website for Cosmopolitan, doing something daring together, such as zip-lining or white water rafting, can make that adrenaline surge. Maybe skydiving will become your new couple's hobby.

2Make Out

Revive your kissing life. As noted in the website for Self, making out more often can make sparks fly, especially if you don't go right to sex, can make sparks fly. The tease can become incredibly intimate.

3Chill Together

Have a relaxing picnic in the park. Or lounge on the couch doing nothing. If you can routinely unplug from the whole world and enjoy one another's company, you'll remember why you fell in love. Sometimes you need to back away from the daily grind to appreciate your SO.

4Write Flirty Notes

Don't forget the power of the written word, and do whatever is comfortable to you. Slipping a little love note into your partner's suitcase is sweet. And there's always the possibility of a steamy text thread if you want to take things in that direction.

5Spend Time Apart

It may sound counterintuitive, but spending time apart can do wonders for your relationship. As noted by Psych Central, maintaining separate interests keeps your relationship fresh and healthy. Plus, it gives you time to really miss your SO.

6Embrace Spontaneity

Routines are easy, especially when you've been together for a while. As noted in Love Panky, being spontaneous with your partner is always a good way to keep the attraction going. Maybe you want to plan a surprise date, or even go on a spur-of-the-moment road trip.

7Touch Each Other

It's a simple but powerful way to feel connected. As noted in Your Tango, simply touching your partner through the day can help maintain your bond. Even holding hands while you walk can be soothing.

8Do Your Thing

Make sure you continue to pursue your own passions while in a relationship. Whether that's salsa dancing or rock climbing, you do you. It's healthy for your own headspace, and there's something irresistibly attractive about a person who's engrossed in a favorite activity.

9Have Fun

Hey, being in a serious relationship does not mean the end of all fun. As noted in Thought Catalogue, if you still goof on one another and share jokes on the regular, your partnership is probably in a good place. After all, the relationship should bring joy to both of your lives.

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